Internet Tech Boston

I occasionally smoke cigars. I’m not a cigar aficionado, there’s too much to learn and I don’t really have the time to get a full education. This is not a post about cigars. But, I know what I like and a like a good smoke every so often.

You can get good cigars cheaply online (surprise!), and I’ve become a regular shopper at JRCigars.com. There’s a lot of places you can get good prices on cigars, but I keep going back to JR because I like him. I’ve never met JR, but I like him just the same. How? Because everything JR sends me is dripping with his unique personality – every flier, every mailer, ever product catalog.  He’s completely transparent. Take this headline on the front cover of his 70plus page Fall catalog – “Business stinks . . . so here’s a golden opportunity to save on name brand cigars, AND get 5 extra cigars Free with every box.” Like I said, I don’t smoke that much, and I already had a box of cigars, but immediately thought – “Hey, the economy stinks, he’s probably not selling a whole ton, maybe i should pick up some cigars on the cheap.”

Sure, there’s a “Crazy Eddie” feel to JR and it’s a bit schlocky. But, he is who he is, and he’s not afraid to put himself out there. I’m reflecting on JR and what we hear these days about the important of being “transparent online and in business.” If you follow any of the social media gurus, you’d think this novel concept was invented by them. But, you’ll also see a ton of accomplished, successful business entrepreneurs asking the gurus questions like “How do I become transparent?” My (private) response to this question is always the same,  ”Do you really not know how to be yourself?”

I’ve come to realize that a very common cause of  people who don’t know how to be themselves is that they don’t really know who they are in the first place. Continuing on from there, a person doesn’t know who they are, because of a central lack of self-confidence which manifests itself in self-doubt. Connect my armchair psychiatry together and you get this realization – there are people who do not allow themselves to be transparent.  If you are constantly doubting yourself, it makes it impossible to be transparent to your friends and co-workers, never-mind the whole world on social media.

For me, this was a shocking epiphany. There are highly paid C-Suite execs that are so riddled with self-doubt that they are hiding in their office afraid to have an online discussion on a blog because people might not like who they are, or what they stand for. Since these folks can’t give themselves the permission they need to be themselves, they’re seeking that permission from someone else. You can guess how successful that operation will be. I’ll end this post with an incredibly schlocky statement of my own. Self-confidence comes from within – only you can give yourself the permission to be yourself.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 10:00 am and is filed under social media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.